btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Randomize
