ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
