ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
