Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
pray to the hookup gods
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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