i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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