just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
