Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
