I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
