my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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