We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
