so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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