im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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