i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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