is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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