we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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