fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
