come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
