Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it