Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.