I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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