she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.