i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
