): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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