my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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