theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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