I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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