You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
