I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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