He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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