she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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