The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
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