just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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