I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
