just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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