She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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