Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
