you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
