When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
