I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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