I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Life is so much better after having sex.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
What a dumb baby whore.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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