i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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