Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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