look no pants
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
