Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
