he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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