I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
