you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
