I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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