Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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