My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
