did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
