I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
