it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
