who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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