Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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