do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
