I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
