38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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