Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Randomize
