You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
