How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
