ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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