these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
