Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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