That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
