but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
