why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
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