He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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