Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
