no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
