And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He shit in the fireplace
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
